Fun Retirement Quotes

Retirement quotes are a humorous and insightful way to look at retirement. Here are some of our favorites...

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." ~Abe Lemons

"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. " ~R.C. Sherriff

"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income." ~Chi Chi Rodriguez

"I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps." ~Merri Brownworth

"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." ~Doug Larson

"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." ~Robert Half

"Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun." ~Jim Bishop

"Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to." ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

"Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it." ~Bernard Baruch

"Retire from work, but not from life." ~M.K. Soni

"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money." ~Jonathan Clements

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life." ~Herbert Asquith

Celebrity Retirement Quotes

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income." ~George Foreman

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." ~George Burns

"Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did." ~Malcolm Forbes

Anonymous Retirement Quotes

"Sometimes it's hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment." ~Anonymous

"Retirement: World's longest coffee break." ~Author Unknown

"Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work." ~Author Unknown

"The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money." ~Author Unknown

"When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired." ~Author Unknown

"The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." ~Author Unknown

"The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!" ~Anonymous

"In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day." ~Anonymous

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." ~Author Unknown

Retirement Quotes by Gene Perret

"Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.' ." ~Gene Perret

"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." ~Gene Perret

"When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you." ~Gene Perret

"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." ~Gene Perret

"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf." ~Gene Perret

"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day." ~Gene Perret

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